Thursday, September 28, 2017

Mrs. HM Needs A Poo-ologist, STAT!

Please do not read this if you are of delicate constitution. It deals with the subject of excrement. You have fair warning. At least the Blogosphere isn't smell-o-vision. Actually, there was no smell at all. So that might be something to help with the identification process.

WE HAVE MYSTERY POO ON THE SIDE PORCH!

I saw it this morning as I left the Mansion. I was feeding Juno and Jack a going-away bite of cat kibble, and noticed these two poo logs laying under the high chair that Farmer H picked up somewhere and no doubt plans to build a shed for.


We have a cat, Dusty, a mostly-gray, short-haired, calico who lays under that shelf and growls all the livelong day whenever Jack gets near. Granted, he loves to chase and bark at her, but since she never gets out when he's around, he doesn't get that chance often. I think Dusty is taunting him so he gets in trouble if he perks up his ears and runs over to the shelf to bark.

Anyhoo...Dusty has been a denizen of this under-shelf lair for many years. She has never left her poo on the porch. Especially right in front of her Jack-taunting area. Besides, cat poo smells. This didn't. Jack's poo is bigger than that. So it appears that a mystery critter was prowling the porch last night. Which could explain the frenzied barking we sometimes hear from Juno in the wee morning hours. I've caught a possum on the back porch by the laundry room, eating the dry dog food. Farmer H has caught a raccoon on the porch. The cat kibble is up on the high shelf, which would be where the upper left hand corner of the picture extends.

Need a closer look? That's a rhetorical question! You're not getting out of it by answering, "No!"


The culprit didn't crap a brick. That's some kind of Farmer H gadget that has fallen there beside the poo. Might have come from the upper shelf. Might have dropped off of something when Farmer H posed his Goodwill swag for a picture on that high chair. I'm pretty sure there wasn't an actual baby who crawled up there overnight and had a leaky Huggie.

Closer inspection makes the poo look almost stick-like. But it's poo. Not dead twigs.


A couple years ago, we were having trouble with a mysterious pee-er poo-er in the garage. The poo looked like this. About a month or two ago, I also saw some at the end of the driveway. Could it be the return of the Mystery Poo-er? A neighbor told Farmer H he saw a coyote on his land. And a fox.

Any ideas? C'mon! Who wants to take a stab at fingering the Mystery Poo-er?

The only thing I'm sure of is...it's not from a lady jogger...

6 comments:

River said...

I'm pretty sure it isn't possum poo, I think possums do a larger version of rat poo. It does look like it contains many small round seeds, so probably it would have to be a grain eater. Do foxes and coyotes eat grain and other feeds like chicken feed?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Farmer H says a fox will eat chicken feed. I've never heard of such a thing. He also says a fox won't come up on the porch, but in the same breath says it will eat dry dog food out of the pans. I guess there could be grain in the poo if the chickens were full of grain when the fox ate them! The poo I saw at the end of the driveway had feathers in it.

River said...

aha! the fox ate the chicken that Hick brought home and then left you with the clues.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Maybe. But that fox did a good job of framing Copper the neighbor dog, because Farmer H took that picture of the feathers, and Copper was suspiciously lurking in the background. Farmer H is blaming him!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I know dog poo and cat poo and even duck poo and rabbit poo. I don't know that poo. It would have to be a braver pooer to poo on your porch so near the dogs and cats.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Yeah, I'm thinking something that stinks or has sharp fangs. Thank the Gummi Mary, honey badgers don't live in Hillmomba.